“Don’t get attached.”
“You’re attached to the outcome.”
“Let it go.”
I don’t know about you… but these phrases seem to be on repeat in my head. And likely on repeat in the heads of those around me. I’m a sucker for a good story and sometimes the story in my head is better than reality. And quite frankly, I don’t mind hanging out there.
Recently I had an ‘ah-ha’ moment. The light bulbs went off over my head and I swear I could hear Faith (my Guide) say… FINALLY! YES!
But first, thank you to all of the team at ID. Seriously. You all are amazing. You continue to help me wake up to the truth that my life is cool because I am cool. I only have to see in me what others see, and voila! Happiness lives.
Now onto attachments…
If Lisa McGinley had a dollar for every time she told me I was attached, she’d be reading this post from her second home in the Caribbean. I heard the words. I knew they were true. I understood the concept. But something in me wasn’t catching on.
Getting attached is my M.O. And I’d be shocked to know I was the only one… Yes, I am talking to you. So what does ‘attached’ really mean?
It was in a conversation with Rona Recker that I got it. She said, ‘If you’re telling a story, you’re attached.’ My mind was blown. I had complete awareness run through every part of my body. I finally understood.
For me, I will create a fantasy land in my head. I’ll tell a story of what my life should look like, how a situation should play out, or what should have happened 15 years ago.
I start the story innocently enough. I imagine how amazing my life will be when I have my dream husband, job, and travel plans. Instead of enjoying that moment, knowing this is all going to exist for me, I start to get into the details. That’s when the attachment happens. The next thing I know I’m imagining the specifics of who we are together and exactly how successful I am. I can picture our summer home off the coast of Maine. It’s perfect. And also not real. But I’m already in LOVE with it all.
By the way, neither of us have any flaws in my story and I’m in great shape and every day is a good hair day. Just saying.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of good and creativity that comes out of my imagination. But when I’m living there and feeling the emotions of the fantasy, it’s attachment. And that my friends, is a slip-n-slide track to pain, struggle, and fear.
Living in that fantasy will cause me to miss the real opportunity. And the real opportunity has the potential to be better than anything I could imagine. Being attached causes me to judge any person or situation for not already matching up to what I’ve decided should exist.
A beautiful flower does not start out as a beautiful flower. It grows into that from a tiny little seed. Refusing to accept the seeds while looking for that same beautiful flower is attachment.
With awareness comes change. For me, with comprehension comes real change.
These days, when I find myself starting a story I consciously acknowledge that it is a story and choose to stop it. True, there is excitement in imagining what could be. It is thrilling to dream big and envision my potential in the future. But that is not productive. It actually stops the process.
I think that’s what Ralph Waldo Emerson was getting at when he said, “Life is a journey, not a destination.”
Get a head start on enjoying the journey.