Finding a Happy Place by Roselle Weinberger

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What do I do when sadness starts to overwhelm me?  Do I sit and cry?  Retreat to my bed?  Throw or break things?  Although these options sound appealing, they are a band aid and provide only temporary relief.  Granted, in the moment all seems well, but the sadness starts creeping back.

 

In my darkest moments, I go to my happy place.  What is a happy place?  It’s a place you can relax, reflect, and rejuvenate.  It can be a physical place or a place you can envision in your mind.  Life can be stressful and sometimes overwhelming.  If we take a few minutes each day to go to our happy place, we will be able to handle the chaos better.  Take a few minutes and breathe.  Calm the chatter and refocus.  

 

If I’m at home, I go outside and sit on my porch swing, close my eyes and listen to nature.  When away, I close my eyes and envision something that brings me happiness like the ocean or grandchildren.  Envisioning these things helps calm me and stop the negative mental spin.

It’s NOT a selfish thing.  It’s just a way of being kind to yourself.  Yes, that’s OK.  I know this isn’t what you are used to doing.  We, by nature, usually put ourselves at the bottom of the list.  We nurture others while ignoring ourselves.  If you remember to treat yourselves in the same loving manner you treat your family and friends, you’ll be surprised the difference it will make in your life. Seriously, give it a try.  There’s nothing to lose but lots to gain.  This is something ID has taught me that I must take care of myself before I can effectively help others.

 

So do something each day that brings you happiness.  It may be as simple as sitting quietly enjoying a chocolate chip cookie or watching the clouds drift by.  The ideas are limitless!

We all have a choice in the way we get through the day.  We can choose to make a conscious effort to be aware of what is triggering our thoughts/feelings or to be unconscious and ignore what is going on around us.  I’ve found that being conscious is the way to go in order to keep moving forward in a positive manner. 

 

Happiness is contagious.  Let’s pass it on beginning with ourselves.

 

Knock Knock.... by Rona Recker

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Y.M.I.

Y.M.I. who?

Y.M.I. sick????!!!

I have noticed a LOT of people are experiencing colds, the flu, sinus infections, etc. And the word that popped is that it is because of GUILT. When we feel Guilt, our immunity lowers and sickness can get in. 

What is Guilt? It is all about judging yourself. Guilt is ‘supposed’ to be a momentary reaction to help us get back in balance because we either didn’t hold a decision we made (for example, you made the decision to have a small event with just your family and other family members feel slighted... but they don’t realize you needed some intimate time to bond again) or we did not make the right decision in the first place (you knew not to overextend yourself and you did it anyway). (Manifesting Your Desires Course). Guilt stops us from being able to manifest things in our lives.

So, how do you clear being sick? Well, clear your Guilt! (Stop beating yourself up!)

First, write everything down that is bothering you and determine what you could have done differently to prevent it. (Like, holding to your decision of having the intimate family time, or speaking up saying you weren’t going to be able to overextend yourself). 

We make a lot of decisions because we don’t want to reject people and don’t want them to reject us. And every time we do this, we fall into a Dependent Pattern (from 7 Human Roles. How do you feel when you get rejected...? That’s your Dependent Pattern). We don’t make appropriate decisions for ourselves every time we do this and we just accumulate more Guilt.

Second, if you know you made the right decision... Stand firm in it. Hold that decision and honor it. If you did NOT make the right decision, you need to have a clearing conversation either with the person or within yourself. It could look like an apology, clarification, or just knowing you are going to work on not doing that again.

Think of all the conversations going on in your mind right now... clear them with real heartfelt conversations. Then...

Knock knock...

Who’s there?

Guilt.

Guilt, eh? 

Nope!!!

Self-Judgment by Roselle Weinberger

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Self judgment. . . . . . .

 

This is a hard one for me.  I tend to take the responsibility for things that aren’t actually mine.  Why do I blame myself?  Is it due to a lack of self confidence?  Do I feel unworthy and therefore think I must be to blame?   Where does this come from?  Is it a carryover from childhood or something else?

 

I judge myself for all sorts of things.  Believe me…there is a lot of self judgment.  I’ve always been critical of myself.  Always strived to be the best that I possibly could but never feeling I quite got there.  I’ve discovered it runs through my family line and is a pattern of disconnection from my internal connection (from the course, Releasing Old Beliefs). What’s that?  Well, it can be traced back to my mother and my grandmother.  The word that comes to mind is dissatisfied.  Yes, dissatisfied.  The light bulb finally came on.  They were always searching, wanting to be better; never quite satisfied.  I have found myself doing the same thing.  Now that I know the cause, I can work on the remedy.

 

How will I be able to change the pattern?  To start, I will accept myself the way I am right now.  Even though I would like to change my body image, I will be happy with the way I look and know that my body is taking care of me the best way it knows how.  It is protecting me and helping me get through tough times.  How I look on the outside will not dictate how I feel on the inside.  It will no longer stop me from being me.

 

Judgment of any kind is negative and should be avoided.  Self judgment certainly doesn’t accomplish anything positive.  It brings you down and puts you in a place where you are unable to be of help to anyone.  Let it go and be an example to others by leading a judgment free life.

Holiday Gut Rescue by Rona Recker

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Deck the Halls with Bowels of Holly…

There are a lot of people who suffer from intestinal discomfort, duress…and let’s just say it…diarrhea. It can be difficult to talk about, very stressful and even embarrassing.

 

Would you like to know some underlying reasons causing it? If we follow the philosophy that our mind dictates what our body does, then every thought sends electrical impulses to your body constantly, giving it messages. If you are having contrary thoughts, those get sent out to your body as well.

 

If we also follow the philosophy that we all have an inner guidance system, or intuition, then ideally, that would be where we want to get our answers from. This philosophy would be called Spirit, Mind, Body because you get intuition (Spirit) that your mind (Mind) has to translate and then it goes out to your body (Body).

 

So, back to some underlying reasons. Everyone is different, so there really isn’t a standard answer for everyone, which is why I’m going to list some reasons below as well as what to do for them.

 

To make it simple…here are the 3 top reasons:

1.       You are worrying because you are not making decisions in a timely manner.

2.       You hate confrontations and you are not having the conversations you need to that are honest and healing.

3.       You take on too much and are carrying energy for people you care about when you don’t want them to ‘suffer.’

 

You worry a lot

What do you need? You need more supportive people in your life that you can reach out to who can uplift you and offer your support to help you move forward. We can’t do this life by ourselves…

What to do in the moment of stress:

Write down what you are worried about. And write down all the decisions you need to make or are afraid to make. Then, next to your worry, who would be a good person/resource to be able to give you the answer/information you need? Do you have to research your topic? Who has your best interests at heart who can also help with this decision? Then, follow through with it…make your decisions and hold firm to them. (And when you worry, reaffirm within yourself or with your support people).

 

You hate confrontations

What do you need? Take the course, Understanding Emotional Patterns to help you through this. When we don’t ‘confront’ things as they come up for us…eventually, they become confrontations (and those really suck…). This course helps you through that.

What to do in the moment of stress:

You are allowed to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Do your best not to feel bad when you feel a negative emotion. Allow yourself to speak about it, knowing that you want to move through that feeling so that you can feel better.

 

You take on too much

What do you need? Ideally, a Wellness Treatment. But if you can’t do that, you have the option of taking Embracing your Truth to help with balanced boundaries or concentrate on your spiritual connection to ‘give back’ what you have taken on.

 

What to do in the moment of stress:

Who are you worrying about? Are they doing what they need to move forward? If yes, trust their soul to keep moving forward. But usually, this isn’t the case…instead, they are not doing what they need to in order to move forward. Determine if they are open and willing to move themselves forward. If they are not, then lovingly allow them to learn the hard way. And be open to them when they become open.

 

My hope is that you feel healthy this holiday season and enjoy your life as it unfolds. If not, don’t be too hard on yourself. Spend time taking care of yourself and do things that will help you feel better that will also move your life forward. Find the connections with people that are fulfilling – and spend your time there! 

Navigating the First Year by Roselle Weinberger

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It’s been nine months since my husband passed.  I’ve experienced his birthday, my birthday, Thanksgiving, our anniversary, and Christmas is almost here.  Each event has brought on different emotions.  How I dealt with each event was different.  Everything in my life is different but in some ways the same.  I have the same love for him and I still feel my connection to him.

 

The challenge came in when well meaning family and friends interjected their thoughts on how they think I am doing.  I suppose it’s because they don’t know what to say or that they think they know what I want to hear. Regardless, I can’t judge them for not knowing how to reach out in a manner not to cause me hurt. On our recent anniversary, I received several messages regarding the day.  They were all issued hopefully out of love and concern but mostly because they felt sorry for me.  I don’t want or need pity.  What I would have rather received perhaps, is just a 'thinking of you', 'is there anything I can do for you today' or 'do you need to talk'?  These options would be much better than, “I know this day must be tough for you” or “You don’t have him but you have so many good memories.”  Even sharing a happy memory with me would have been better choice/message. 

 

The team at ID has been working diligently to prepare me for all the firsts.  I was actually having a good day, having good thoughts, until I was hit with the pity comments.  My mistake was in not responding truthfully, letting them know how the comments made me feel and given them a better option of what to say, so in the future they could avoid making the same comments to someone else.  This was a learning experience for me as well.  Reminding myself to be honest and speak the truth.  

 

Thank goodness for my caring adult children!  No pep talks, pity or unwanted comments, just a simple text asking how I was doing.  Brought the light back into my day.  I was able to let them know I was having a good day and what my plans were.  I was also able to share a sweet anniversary story which brought a smile to my face.  In sharing the memory with them, they were able to learn another special quality their dad had.  They weren’t aware of the romantic side of him.

 

Doing nothing to change my outlook, my way of dealing with the obstacles in my life, would have been so easy.  Change for me before ID was never easy.  I was great at avoiding difficult situations and confrontations.  I’ve learned that you can only avoid so long before whatever you didn’t want to deal with comes back around again. During that time of avoidance I would experience at times physical pain, worry, raw emotion, all of which wouldn’t have occurred if I had dealt with the situation in the first place.  ID has given me tools to work through the difficult times.  It’s amazing how changing the way I process emotions, the way I respond to situations has made such a difference in my life.  I am a totally different person than I was five months ago.  I am no longer an emotional wreck.  Do I still grieve?  Yes, of course, but I don’t let it overwhelm me.  When I feel sad, I think of a happy time and that makes me smile. I focus on the many wonderful years I had my loving husband instead of the few short months we dealt with his illness.  I was allowing the way his life ended to be front and center blocking all the fun loving times.  No more!

 

Taking the classes, using the tools, and then following through has been life changing.  Even though I have completed the classes, I continue to learn, evolve by surrounding myself with like-minded people and holding my truth and not allowing others to bring me down.    My hope is to enlighten others and make their lives better in the process.  Teaching by example and not preaching.

Underlying Pattern Rescue by Rona Recker

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Hello Rona,

Me, my mother and my grandmother all have similar physical symptoms - shaking and ringing ears. We've grown accustomed to it and don't always notice it. It's only become more obvious lately. Is there something that has been passed down that we are all showing symptoms of? Or is this representing something unique in all of us, just presenting similarly?

 

Thank you,

A

 

Hello A,

There are definite health patterns that pass down through the generations. You will notice not everyone down the biological line has the same issues, even with similar gene patterns.

 

If we look at this metaphorically for the underlying patterns, you have 2 different patterns occurring. If you look at how you handle stress and the fears that come up for you, do you notice that you your immediate reaction is that you don’t reach up to your spiritual connection? Do you notice you stay longer in the stress than necessary?

 

When we don’t want to hear or follow through with our spiritual intuition, it will affect our ears (thus, the ringing in your ears). And the shaking is that you aren’t grounded (if you utilize the Spirit – Mind – Body concept…you receive an intuitive spiritual message that comes through your mind and you follow it through with your body. If these aren’t in concert, your body will literally react by shaking).

 

Can you see these characteristics in yourself, your mom and grandmother?

 

If you look at the course Releasing Old Beliefs, you can see patterns, beliefs and wounds that get passed down through generations. Taking this course gives you the answers of how to ground and feel connected to your spiritual connection again.

 

So, Ground, Ground, Ground and connect back to your intuitive self so you can follow through consistently until you see the results you are looking for. Don’t give up! And remember the times you have felt connected…it can seem impossible, but it only takes a moment to feel the peace of your spiritual connection once again. 

Rona Recker

Learning to Live Again by Roselle Weinberger

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Learning to live again…

 

One year ago this month, my husband of over 53 years was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.  In just a little over three months, he was gone.  Needless to say, those months were a dark time in my life, but that was only the beginning.  I wasn’t prepared to be alone.  I wasn’t aware how co-dependent our relationship was. Looking back, I can see how I lost myself in our relationship, how I depended on him and looked to him for almost everything.  We were totally connected, not requiring anyone else… happy, content, settled.  What was idyllic turned out to be my downfall.  I was so absorbed in our relationship that I totally forgot about me as an individual.  After his passing, I was suddenly lost not knowing what would become of me.  What was I going to do with my life?  What is my life purpose?

 

A friend of mine gave me Lynn’s name and number and said she thought Lynn could help me.  Boy! Was that ever an understatement!  Lynn and her team have brought me out of the darkness and into the light.  Granted, I haven’t always been willing…but through their compassion, understanding and most importantly NO judgment, I have begun to live again.  They have helped to heal my body and soul, teaching me skills to get through the darkness and find myself again.  Memories that used to bring tears now bring smiles.

 

I look forward to my sessions at ID, even though they aren’t always comfortable.  Looking deeply into one’s self is sometimes painful but necessary in order to discover where the problem lies, where the hurt is coming from and how to heal.  Their approach is always honest, caring and direct, which is greatly appreciated.  When I was struggling with whether I wanted to even go on, they were there encouraging but never pushing me to make a decision.  They respected my free will while teaching me to find my way.

 

I will forever be grateful to my friend, Sheron, for telling me about Lynn and ID and thankful to the entire ID team for their guidance and acceptance.  I’m happy to be in such a loving group of people where you can be yourself and help each other be an inspiration to others.

 

Heartbreak Rescue by Rona Recker

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“I’m not feeling well and my emotions are all over the place…how do I recover from heartbreak?”

~A

 

Hello A,

It is challenging healing through heartbreak. There are a host of emotions you experience and they will come on randomly, taking you by surprise. You will also have physical symptoms occurring as well.

 

To help you get through this process, you definitely want to make sure you have your authentic emotions. Dropping too far and too long into them will not be helpful for you, though. So, do what you can not to drop too far into your sadness.

 

The only way to truly heal through this is to grab hold of your Spiritual Connection.  

You can utilize this process to assist you:

1.       Connect spiritually (meditate, picture a light coming through to you, concentrate on your inner belief, etc. (or utilize your Grounding Words from Releasing Old Beliefs). And ask, “Is the time up on this?” If ‘yes’ pops in, you will go through the heartbreak process.

2.       Picture an energy line between you and this person/situation and imagine yourself pulling the line away from your body and replacing it with a line to your spiritual connection. If you envision more than one line, do this to each one.

3.       Then, write down multiple traits about yourself that are positive (or use your 7 Human Roles formula). This is who you truly are. You are going to put your effort here each time you drop, so when this happens, use your energy to grab hold of those traits - who you truly are. Take care of yourself through this process.

4.       When you don’t like the things happening in your humanity, finding the deeper meaning spiritually is the only stronghold you can embrace that will help you come through on the other side. So, spend time journaling or pondering what good things are to come your way next in your life. And plan and move forward on those things. (you can utilize Manifesting your Desires here as well).

5.       You are going to have to train your mind not to linger on the negative. When it comes in, feel it and then do something to move you forward on the good things in your life.

 

I send you my best!

~Rona

 

If you have never taken the courses at Intuitive Development, they are very useful tools that can help you successfully get through anything that comes your way in life. They not only help you internally find peace, but you will find working these tools helps your physical health as well.