Strange things are happening. I don’t know who to call. Was it a break-in? Someone has replaced all the mirrors in my home. Since they were replaced does that still qualify as a robbery?
It was a shock seeing my reflection. It was like I was looking in one of those mirrors at the circus. You know the ones that cause everything to be distorted.
I was used to seeing myself as young and thin. Now looking back at me was an old, wrinkled, over weight person. Surely that can’t be me!! I looked again and decided, yes, it has to be me since I was alone. The more I looked I began to see a few things that I recognized like the scar over my right eye, the scar on my chin where a mole had been removed and smile lines around my eyes. These things were familiar but not the whole face.
When did these chubby cheeks appear and how did they get there? My face has always been round but somehow it has ballooned. Wow! This is reality! How many years have I been looking at myself through rose colored glasses? Well, actually I mustn’t have been looking at all to see what life was doing to my body and how time was marching across my face.
Now what do I do? Do I stay in the house, only go out at night or wear a sack over my head? These things are tempting but not sure how they would work. These mirrors are obviously here to stay so I need to make peace with them and readjust my self vision.
This is reality not fiction, so I better find a workable solution. For starters I need to begin to love the face looking back at me. This face has been with me through marriage, children and loss; a whole lifetime of experiences. I need to remember how I got that scar and be thankful it’s in my eyebrow and not my eye. I need to remember why the mole was removed from my chin. OK, I’ve stopped laughing so I can share that story. That silly mole on my chin had a hair growing out of it. I kept pulling it out but it kept coming back. On a trip to the dermatologist I asked him to take it off before the mole grew into one that would rival one I’d seen on a witch. Stop laughing! Now the smile lines, not wrinkles, these are the best of all. They are proof of a life full of laughter, fun times and lots of love.
The tears still come but they come less frequently. Smiles are coming more often. The memories are once again starting to bring back smiles. I’m learning to choose light instead of dark. Learning to embrace my life and the way I look and learning to be less serious about things that can’t be changed. Determined each day to start a new smile line.