death

Death Comes Unexpectedly by Roselle Weinberger

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This was a line in a movie that I recently watched. It was delivered in a church to a congregation that had shocked expressions on their faces. The question I have is… does it really come unexpectedly?

From the moment we are born we are on our personal journey to death whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Our souls have made a contract to come into this world to accomplish certain things. It’s our mission of sorts. Does everyone complete their mission/contract? This is not something we will ever know due to free will, nor is it knowledge we mortals are privy to for others than ourselves.

Death is something most people don’t like to talk about. We convince ourselves that if we don’t talk about somehow it may not happen. Even when my husband was quite ill and I knew he was approaching the end of his life, on some level I refused to acknowledge it. There was only one person I shared what I knew – his time was short. I missed an opportunity to help family prepare for what was to come and allow them to have important conversations with him. To be perfectly honest, I squandered my opportunity as well.

Do I have regrets? Of course. I do have regrets but what good does that do at this point in time? The answer to that is perhaps I can help others in the same situation to have an easier time at the end of a loved one’s life. I can let them know the importance of open and honest conversations that are uncomfortable and painful. These conversations are not only important for those surviving but for those that are preparing for death. These conversations can bring peace and understanding. It’s important to share feelings of what loss will mean and share the love and joy their life has brought to you and others.

Death of a loved one isn’t easy. It is something you never get over but it is something you get through. We all handle death differently. We all grieve in our own way. There is no right or wrong way. As in life, we all process our experiences uniquely. There are no rules although some people think there are. Loss of a loved one is very personal. Just because someone has had a similar experience, it cannot and should not be compared to yours. We all do the best we can.

Loss by Roselle Weinberger

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Loss . . . . . . .

 

Why do people say “I lost my husband?”  He’s not lost.  I know right where he is.  Well, at least I know where his physical body is.  Not too sure about his spirit.  There is great debate on whether or not death is the end of everything. I choose to believe that it isn’t the case.  I believe there is a place from where we came and will ultimately return. 

 

We are all on this earth for a purpose but not all of us choose to complete out task.  Why is that?  My answer would be that we allow our humanity to get in the way.  We forget that there is also a spiritual side.  Do we choose humanity because we think it’s easy?  Do we ignore spirituality because we think it’s hard?  Or is it that our spiritual side doesn’t get the same attention?

 

A year ago this month I walked in the doors of Intuitive Development.  As the saying goes ‘what a difference a year makes.’  OK, I know it’s actually supposed to be a day but I like mine better.  I was a mess to put it bluntly.  My husband had passed a little over four months prior . . . . . . passed not lost.  I was struggling just to get out of bed.  I thought I had no reason left to exist.  There were times when I wished I could die.  ID through their loving support taught me to live again.  Taught me to focus on spirit, mind, and body.

 

Spirit is what was missing.  Somewhere along the line I had forgotten how important my connection to spirit was.  Through ID’s support and their nonjudgmental acceptance, I started to see what I was missing and started once again to become a whole person.  It hasn’t been an easy process.  At times it seemed downright impossible but fortunately for me they didn’t give up on me. 

 

I miss my husband every day but I don’t get stuck in the sadness.  I’ve found a new way to share my love and compassion by volunteering for Hospice of the Valley.  I give respite time to the caregivers.  I was asked why I did this for no pay.  Quite honestly I derive great comfort in knowing that at least, in some small way, I have made a difference in their life.  By helping others I am helped.

 

There is no magic wand, only the desire to live a more conscious life.