This was a line in a movie that I recently watched. It was delivered in a church to a congregation that had shocked expressions on their faces. The question I have is… does it really come unexpectedly?
From the moment we are born we are on our personal journey to death whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Our souls have made a contract to come into this world to accomplish certain things. It’s our mission of sorts. Does everyone complete their mission/contract? This is not something we will ever know due to free will, nor is it knowledge we mortals are privy to for others than ourselves.
Death is something most people don’t like to talk about. We convince ourselves that if we don’t talk about somehow it may not happen. Even when my husband was quite ill and I knew he was approaching the end of his life, on some level I refused to acknowledge it. There was only one person I shared what I knew – his time was short. I missed an opportunity to help family prepare for what was to come and allow them to have important conversations with him. To be perfectly honest, I squandered my opportunity as well.
Do I have regrets? Of course. I do have regrets but what good does that do at this point in time? The answer to that is perhaps I can help others in the same situation to have an easier time at the end of a loved one’s life. I can let them know the importance of open and honest conversations that are uncomfortable and painful. These conversations are not only important for those surviving but for those that are preparing for death. These conversations can bring peace and understanding. It’s important to share feelings of what loss will mean and share the love and joy their life has brought to you and others.
Death of a loved one isn’t easy. It is something you never get over but it is something you get through. We all handle death differently. We all grieve in our own way. There is no right or wrong way. As in life, we all process our experiences uniquely. There are no rules although some people think there are. Loss of a loved one is very personal. Just because someone has had a similar experience, it cannot and should not be compared to yours. We all do the best we can.