healing

Loss by Roselle Weinberger

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Loss . . . . . . .

 

Why do people say “I lost my husband?”  He’s not lost.  I know right where he is.  Well, at least I know where his physical body is.  Not too sure about his spirit.  There is great debate on whether or not death is the end of everything. I choose to believe that it isn’t the case.  I believe there is a place from where we came and will ultimately return. 

 

We are all on this earth for a purpose but not all of us choose to complete out task.  Why is that?  My answer would be that we allow our humanity to get in the way.  We forget that there is also a spiritual side.  Do we choose humanity because we think it’s easy?  Do we ignore spirituality because we think it’s hard?  Or is it that our spiritual side doesn’t get the same attention?

 

A year ago this month I walked in the doors of Intuitive Development.  As the saying goes ‘what a difference a year makes.’  OK, I know it’s actually supposed to be a day but I like mine better.  I was a mess to put it bluntly.  My husband had passed a little over four months prior . . . . . . passed not lost.  I was struggling just to get out of bed.  I thought I had no reason left to exist.  There were times when I wished I could die.  ID through their loving support taught me to live again.  Taught me to focus on spirit, mind, and body.

 

Spirit is what was missing.  Somewhere along the line I had forgotten how important my connection to spirit was.  Through ID’s support and their nonjudgmental acceptance, I started to see what I was missing and started once again to become a whole person.  It hasn’t been an easy process.  At times it seemed downright impossible but fortunately for me they didn’t give up on me. 

 

I miss my husband every day but I don’t get stuck in the sadness.  I’ve found a new way to share my love and compassion by volunteering for Hospice of the Valley.  I give respite time to the caregivers.  I was asked why I did this for no pay.  Quite honestly I derive great comfort in knowing that at least, in some small way, I have made a difference in their life.  By helping others I am helped.

 

There is no magic wand, only the desire to live a more conscious life. 

 

Self-Judgment by Roselle Weinberger

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Self judgment. . . . . . .

 

This is a hard one for me.  I tend to take the responsibility for things that aren’t actually mine.  Why do I blame myself?  Is it due to a lack of self confidence?  Do I feel unworthy and therefore think I must be to blame?   Where does this come from?  Is it a carryover from childhood or something else?

 

I judge myself for all sorts of things.  Believe me…there is a lot of self judgment.  I’ve always been critical of myself.  Always strived to be the best that I possibly could but never feeling I quite got there.  I’ve discovered it runs through my family line and is a pattern of disconnection from my internal connection (from the course, Releasing Old Beliefs). What’s that?  Well, it can be traced back to my mother and my grandmother.  The word that comes to mind is dissatisfied.  Yes, dissatisfied.  The light bulb finally came on.  They were always searching, wanting to be better; never quite satisfied.  I have found myself doing the same thing.  Now that I know the cause, I can work on the remedy.

 

How will I be able to change the pattern?  To start, I will accept myself the way I am right now.  Even though I would like to change my body image, I will be happy with the way I look and know that my body is taking care of me the best way it knows how.  It is protecting me and helping me get through tough times.  How I look on the outside will not dictate how I feel on the inside.  It will no longer stop me from being me.

 

Judgment of any kind is negative and should be avoided.  Self judgment certainly doesn’t accomplish anything positive.  It brings you down and puts you in a place where you are unable to be of help to anyone.  Let it go and be an example to others by leading a judgment free life.

Navigating the First Year by Roselle Weinberger

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It’s been nine months since my husband passed.  I’ve experienced his birthday, my birthday, Thanksgiving, our anniversary, and Christmas is almost here.  Each event has brought on different emotions.  How I dealt with each event was different.  Everything in my life is different but in some ways the same.  I have the same love for him and I still feel my connection to him.

 

The challenge came in when well meaning family and friends interjected their thoughts on how they think I am doing.  I suppose it’s because they don’t know what to say or that they think they know what I want to hear. Regardless, I can’t judge them for not knowing how to reach out in a manner not to cause me hurt. On our recent anniversary, I received several messages regarding the day.  They were all issued hopefully out of love and concern but mostly because they felt sorry for me.  I don’t want or need pity.  What I would have rather received perhaps, is just a 'thinking of you', 'is there anything I can do for you today' or 'do you need to talk'?  These options would be much better than, “I know this day must be tough for you” or “You don’t have him but you have so many good memories.”  Even sharing a happy memory with me would have been better choice/message. 

 

The team at ID has been working diligently to prepare me for all the firsts.  I was actually having a good day, having good thoughts, until I was hit with the pity comments.  My mistake was in not responding truthfully, letting them know how the comments made me feel and given them a better option of what to say, so in the future they could avoid making the same comments to someone else.  This was a learning experience for me as well.  Reminding myself to be honest and speak the truth.  

 

Thank goodness for my caring adult children!  No pep talks, pity or unwanted comments, just a simple text asking how I was doing.  Brought the light back into my day.  I was able to let them know I was having a good day and what my plans were.  I was also able to share a sweet anniversary story which brought a smile to my face.  In sharing the memory with them, they were able to learn another special quality their dad had.  They weren’t aware of the romantic side of him.

 

Doing nothing to change my outlook, my way of dealing with the obstacles in my life, would have been so easy.  Change for me before ID was never easy.  I was great at avoiding difficult situations and confrontations.  I’ve learned that you can only avoid so long before whatever you didn’t want to deal with comes back around again. During that time of avoidance I would experience at times physical pain, worry, raw emotion, all of which wouldn’t have occurred if I had dealt with the situation in the first place.  ID has given me tools to work through the difficult times.  It’s amazing how changing the way I process emotions, the way I respond to situations has made such a difference in my life.  I am a totally different person than I was five months ago.  I am no longer an emotional wreck.  Do I still grieve?  Yes, of course, but I don’t let it overwhelm me.  When I feel sad, I think of a happy time and that makes me smile. I focus on the many wonderful years I had my loving husband instead of the few short months we dealt with his illness.  I was allowing the way his life ended to be front and center blocking all the fun loving times.  No more!

 

Taking the classes, using the tools, and then following through has been life changing.  Even though I have completed the classes, I continue to learn, evolve by surrounding myself with like-minded people and holding my truth and not allowing others to bring me down.    My hope is to enlighten others and make their lives better in the process.  Teaching by example and not preaching.

Underlying Pattern Rescue by Rona Recker

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Hello Rona,

Me, my mother and my grandmother all have similar physical symptoms - shaking and ringing ears. We've grown accustomed to it and don't always notice it. It's only become more obvious lately. Is there something that has been passed down that we are all showing symptoms of? Or is this representing something unique in all of us, just presenting similarly?

 

Thank you,

A

 

Hello A,

There are definite health patterns that pass down through the generations. You will notice not everyone down the biological line has the same issues, even with similar gene patterns.

 

If we look at this metaphorically for the underlying patterns, you have 2 different patterns occurring. If you look at how you handle stress and the fears that come up for you, do you notice that you your immediate reaction is that you don’t reach up to your spiritual connection? Do you notice you stay longer in the stress than necessary?

 

When we don’t want to hear or follow through with our spiritual intuition, it will affect our ears (thus, the ringing in your ears). And the shaking is that you aren’t grounded (if you utilize the Spirit – Mind – Body concept…you receive an intuitive spiritual message that comes through your mind and you follow it through with your body. If these aren’t in concert, your body will literally react by shaking).

 

Can you see these characteristics in yourself, your mom and grandmother?

 

If you look at the course Releasing Old Beliefs, you can see patterns, beliefs and wounds that get passed down through generations. Taking this course gives you the answers of how to ground and feel connected to your spiritual connection again.

 

So, Ground, Ground, Ground and connect back to your intuitive self so you can follow through consistently until you see the results you are looking for. Don’t give up! And remember the times you have felt connected…it can seem impossible, but it only takes a moment to feel the peace of your spiritual connection once again. 

Rona Recker

Learning to Live Again by Roselle Weinberger

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Learning to live again…

 

One year ago this month, my husband of over 53 years was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.  In just a little over three months, he was gone.  Needless to say, those months were a dark time in my life, but that was only the beginning.  I wasn’t prepared to be alone.  I wasn’t aware how co-dependent our relationship was. Looking back, I can see how I lost myself in our relationship, how I depended on him and looked to him for almost everything.  We were totally connected, not requiring anyone else… happy, content, settled.  What was idyllic turned out to be my downfall.  I was so absorbed in our relationship that I totally forgot about me as an individual.  After his passing, I was suddenly lost not knowing what would become of me.  What was I going to do with my life?  What is my life purpose?

 

A friend of mine gave me Lynn’s name and number and said she thought Lynn could help me.  Boy! Was that ever an understatement!  Lynn and her team have brought me out of the darkness and into the light.  Granted, I haven’t always been willing…but through their compassion, understanding and most importantly NO judgment, I have begun to live again.  They have helped to heal my body and soul, teaching me skills to get through the darkness and find myself again.  Memories that used to bring tears now bring smiles.

 

I look forward to my sessions at ID, even though they aren’t always comfortable.  Looking deeply into one’s self is sometimes painful but necessary in order to discover where the problem lies, where the hurt is coming from and how to heal.  Their approach is always honest, caring and direct, which is greatly appreciated.  When I was struggling with whether I wanted to even go on, they were there encouraging but never pushing me to make a decision.  They respected my free will while teaching me to find my way.

 

I will forever be grateful to my friend, Sheron, for telling me about Lynn and ID and thankful to the entire ID team for their guidance and acceptance.  I’m happy to be in such a loving group of people where you can be yourself and help each other be an inspiration to others.

 

Heartbreak Rescue by Rona Recker

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“I’m not feeling well and my emotions are all over the place…how do I recover from heartbreak?”

~A

 

Hello A,

It is challenging healing through heartbreak. There are a host of emotions you experience and they will come on randomly, taking you by surprise. You will also have physical symptoms occurring as well.

 

To help you get through this process, you definitely want to make sure you have your authentic emotions. Dropping too far and too long into them will not be helpful for you, though. So, do what you can not to drop too far into your sadness.

 

The only way to truly heal through this is to grab hold of your Spiritual Connection.  

You can utilize this process to assist you:

1.       Connect spiritually (meditate, picture a light coming through to you, concentrate on your inner belief, etc. (or utilize your Grounding Words from Releasing Old Beliefs). And ask, “Is the time up on this?” If ‘yes’ pops in, you will go through the heartbreak process.

2.       Picture an energy line between you and this person/situation and imagine yourself pulling the line away from your body and replacing it with a line to your spiritual connection. If you envision more than one line, do this to each one.

3.       Then, write down multiple traits about yourself that are positive (or use your 7 Human Roles formula). This is who you truly are. You are going to put your effort here each time you drop, so when this happens, use your energy to grab hold of those traits - who you truly are. Take care of yourself through this process.

4.       When you don’t like the things happening in your humanity, finding the deeper meaning spiritually is the only stronghold you can embrace that will help you come through on the other side. So, spend time journaling or pondering what good things are to come your way next in your life. And plan and move forward on those things. (you can utilize Manifesting your Desires here as well).

5.       You are going to have to train your mind not to linger on the negative. When it comes in, feel it and then do something to move you forward on the good things in your life.

 

I send you my best!

~Rona

 

If you have never taken the courses at Intuitive Development, they are very useful tools that can help you successfully get through anything that comes your way in life. They not only help you internally find peace, but you will find working these tools helps your physical health as well.