Self judgment. . . . . . .
This is a hard one for me. I tend to take the responsibility for things that aren’t actually mine. Why do I blame myself? Is it due to a lack of self confidence? Do I feel unworthy and therefore think I must be to blame? Where does this come from? Is it a carryover from childhood or something else?
I judge myself for all sorts of things. Believe me…there is a lot of self judgment. I’ve always been critical of myself. Always strived to be the best that I possibly could but never feeling I quite got there. I’ve discovered it runs through my family line and is a pattern of disconnection from my internal connection (from the course, Releasing Old Beliefs). What’s that? Well, it can be traced back to my mother and my grandmother. The word that comes to mind is dissatisfied. Yes, dissatisfied. The light bulb finally came on. They were always searching, wanting to be better; never quite satisfied. I have found myself doing the same thing. Now that I know the cause, I can work on the remedy.
How will I be able to change the pattern? To start, I will accept myself the way I am right now. Even though I would like to change my body image, I will be happy with the way I look and know that my body is taking care of me the best way it knows how. It is protecting me and helping me get through tough times. How I look on the outside will not dictate how I feel on the inside. It will no longer stop me from being me.
Judgment of any kind is negative and should be avoided. Self judgment certainly doesn’t accomplish anything positive. It brings you down and puts you in a place where you are unable to be of help to anyone. Let it go and be an example to others by leading a judgment free life.